This is not a gentle story. I have not lived a gentle life. If while you're reading my story you become uncomfortable when I speak very openly about my sexual feelings, or if you get pissed at me for cussing all the time, or if it offends you when I curse God, that's perfectly okay. You have a right to your own feelings and opinions, and so do I. If I had tried to "pretty it up," it wouldn't be how it really happened.