A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Load for More Fun, Less Resentment, and Great Sex

Relationship expert Dr. Morgan Cutlip helps couples view the mental load--the endless and mostly invisible work of managing a household and family--as a shared enemy to conquer versus a problem they have with each other, offering practical solutions for navigating the most common pain points couples struggle with.

When most couple are dating or engaged, they probably aren’t thinking about the mental load or are even really aware of what it is. They aren’t standing across from each other on their wedding days promising to ＂remember where every item in the house is so that I can tell you exactly where to find it＂ or vowing to ＂tell you to ’just relax’ when you can’t sleep because your mind is in hyperdrive thinking about everything you need to do.＂ That would be a real buzzkill. But a few years down the road--after the reality of family life hits--many couples find themselves at each other’s throats because they don’t know how to navigate the mental and emotional work of managing a household together. They worry that they’ll always be fighting about who should do the dishes or pick up the balloons for the party, but don’t know how to begin talking about their frustrations without pointing fingers.

In A Better Share, Dr. Morgan Cutlip offers practical advice that goes beyond getting one’s spouse to pick up the slack and focuses on the unique perspectives and experiences of each partner, enabling both to feel seen and heard. She helps readers leave behind resentment and anxiety and begin to

• understand why the mental load primarily falls on women and how it impacts sexual desire;
• share perspectives, expectations, ownership, and accountability; and
• use actionable plans for divvying up tasks and teaching the next generation how to share the mental load.

Through research and stories based on real couples, A Better Share guides readers out of the endless stress and resentment cycle and into a relationship where sharing is caring, having fun together is a priority, and great sex isn’t a thing of the past.